Why Abstinence is Better than Premarital Sex

Sex is the theme of several hit songs on the radio. It is used to boost television show ratings, and it has been the cause of some well-know political scandals. R&B Singer Bobby Valentino sings about sex that could make one hear the angels calling in a song with Lil Wayne called Mrs. Officer. If almost everyone is an advocate of sex sex sex, is there possibly one reason for not having it?

Feeling Guilty About Sex?

Guilt is a normal feeling after having sex. Supermodel and Talk Show Host Tyra Banks asked her audience if there were any woman who felt guilty about having casual sex on an episode of The Tyra Banks Show called Sex in Tyra's City on September 22, 2008.

One woman claimed that she didn't always feel guilty, and a few people timidly raised their hands. The guilt that Tyra mentioned is caused by the body's reaction to doing the things that can potentially harm it emotionally or physically.

According to Dr. Steven Barnhart Ph.D., Chair of the History and Social Science Department at the Middlesex County College in Edison, New Jersey MCC, having sex is a question of trust and commitment rather than of marriage because married people are not always committed.

"You could be putting yourself in a predicament to get hurt if you're not in a committed relationship," said Dr Barnhart Ph.D in an interview on September 25, 2008."It could lead to feelings of loneliness, despair or depression just like any other hurtful experience," he said.

But sex for young teenagers is a "No No" for Dr. Barnhart who says there is no such thing as puppy love. "The love that a seventh-grader would feel for a girl/boyfriend is just as strong as an adult," he said. "If they are having sex at a young age, there are many pressures that would cause them to break up, such as school activities, sports and est.

A female student from MCC disagrees with practicing abstinence because of guilt or getting attached and feels that woman have total control when it comes to having sex."In the Portuguese culture, we are supposed to practice celibacy. As for me, if it happens it happens," said Anna Oliveirra, in an interview on September 25, 2008.

Chemical Response to Sex

While in action, the body creates a social bond between two people by producing Oxytocin, known as the "love hormone." It is released into the bloodstream, into the brain and is produced so that couples can remain together while raising their offspring, according to an article in Scripps Magazine, which is published by Scripps Woman College in California.

In the article, A Biologist Looks at Intelligent Design by David Sadava, Pritzker Family Foundation Professor of Biology, Joint Science Department: What Links Bacterial Flaggellum, Oxytocin, and Romantic Prairie Vole, they proved that Prairie Voles and humans both produce Oxytocin and become socially boded when having sex. The bond lasts until the offspring goes off on its own.

Based on these facts, an experiment was conducted. Two groups of people were given nasal spray, but one group received spray that contained Oxytocin. In a financial game, the Oxytocin-exposed people trusted their money with a stranger more than the ones who were not exposed.

Is Safe Sex the Best Sex?

One professor from Middlesex County College, who prefers anonymity, said in a September 25, 2008 interview that the choice is up to the individual. "It is OK for me," he said. "But in order to take part in any sexual activity, you must be responsible, aware and able to deal with the consequences, such as pregnancy and STDs."

Responsibility only takes one halfway to safety. HPV, the human papillomavirus, causes genital warts, cervical and other HPV-related cancers.The American Cancer Society estimates that over 11,000 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer in the U.S in 2008. The virus, along with many others, is possible to contract while using a condom.

Teenagers are at greater risk for diseases. Dr. Barnhart says that most young people don't recognize the possible consequences like an adult would, and that a younger female would be less likely to use protection or birth control.

Creating Sparks in the Relationship

There is a saying that goes: try it out before you buy it that is a reason for premarital sex. "It is OK before marriage because if you end up not liking it, the marriage will be boring," said Kim Marin from South Plainfield, New Jersey.

The absence of sex forces people to interact with each other. It helps couples learn each other's personalities before marrying. After saying "I do", there is no way of changing one's personality. Conversely, married couples can depend on therapy, books, entertainment and prayer to spark up their sex lives.

In the long run, having sex is a choice, and there are many risks that are involved. If it is being done based on what is normal, then everyone is not doing it. Here are some people who are practicing celibacy.

"I am comfortable with being abstinent because you don't know which guy you will be with, and could accidentally get pregnant and end up with someone for the rest of your life," said Julissa, 22, from Perth Amboy, New Jersey in an interview on September 25, 2008.

"People practice abstinence not just for spiritual purposes, but it can be empowering; it could challenge one's ability to be strong," said Ms. Porshia, 21, from East Orange, New Jersey.

"Certain people do become abstinent for religious purposes," said Joe Talbert, 19, in an interviewed on September 25, 2008 at Middlesex County College. "Abstinence should be practiced before marriage because people get attached when having sex, and there are diseases out there," he said.

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