Vaginismus is when the vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten during intercourse, when using a tampon, or during a physical examination. If you don't know why it is happening or what the problem is, it can be very worrying and cause you to shut down physically. It is not easy to understand let alone discuss with a partner and friends. You may feel that you are somehow at fault; that something is 'wrong' with you. This can cause long-term stress and you will need help dealing with it.
Types of Vaginismus
Vaginismus is a relatively common problem for women in their late teens onwards. There are two types, according to NHS Direct: -
- Primary – when a woman has never been able to have intercourse.
- Secondary – intercourse may be possible with one partner but not another, or the vaginismus occurs at different stages of a relationship. You may find you are initially able to have intercourse but as time goes on, the vaginismus returns. This can be difficult for you and a partner to come to terms with because it does not feel as if there is any progression.
Symptoms of Vaginismus
- An involuntary muscle spasm in the vagina when a woman attempts to have intercourse or during a physical examination.
- An inability to use tampons.
- Pain during intercourse or fear of pain.
Causes of Vaginismus
Physical causes of vaginismus include injury or inflammation of the genital area, vaginal dryness, certain types of medicine, and an allergy to latex in condoms. It can also be caused by a vaginal infection or childbirth. Your GP can advise on the above, and such causes are easily treatable once the problem is identified.
Vaginismus is usually a psychological issue - a learned response as a result of painful intercourse, abuse, rape or a traumatic birth experience. It can also be triggered if you feel anxious about getting pregnant or are in an abusive relationship. It can also be caused by a lack of awareness about how your body functions.
How Sexual Therapy Can Help
Counselling and sexual therapy can help if the cause is psychological in nature. This can be on referral from your doctor or through private sessions. Sexual therapy will help you to understand your physical response and offers support and practical help such as how to use vaginal dilators. It can help reduce anxiety, the feeling that you ‘alone’ have this problem, and it will help you feel more in control of your body.
Using Vaginal Dilators
One technique sexual therapists recommend is using vaginal trainers or dilators to help to relax muscle spasms. These are plastic cylinders with a detachable handle and come in four different sizes. Use a good quality organic lubricant such as Starglide or Yes and start with the smallest cone. Practise deep breathing as you insert the cone and take it slowly, withdrawing if you need to. Once you feel comfortable inserting the smallest cone try the next size up. Don't feel you have to make it to the biggest size as they do look quite daunting! The important thing is to feel comfortable and to get used to the sensation of having something inside your vagina.
When you have a warm bath explore your vagina with your fingers or invest in a waterproof vibrator. Stimulating the clitoris until you are aroused will make penetration much easier and more pleasurable. It is a matter of taking the time to explore your body and find out what sensations you enjoy. Incorporate the dilators into your relaxation and fantasy time and give yourself time. There is no hurry.
Pelvic Floor Exercises
Pelvic floor exercises will help you to feel more in control of your vaginal muscles so that you can relax and tense them accordingly. The Core Wellness website is offering readers a free pelvic toning DVD by exercise scientist and pelvic floor expert, Kari Bo.
Tantric Yoni massage is also very helpful in treating vaginismus. It is a deeply feminine and nurturing form of intimate massage that puts a woman in touch with her sexual energy. You can find a qualified practitioner via established Tantric forums and groups - ask for referrals.
Vaginismus is a medical condition that requires sensitive treatment. It is easy to withdraw and avoid relationships, especially if you don't know that help is available. The good news is that it can be successfully treated via a combination of methods: therapy, counselling, and self-help.
Resources
To find a qualified sex therapist contact the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine or the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy.
Vaginismus - information point and retailer of vaginal dilators.
The Vaginismus Awareness Network - online support network.
Women Without Sex: The Truth About Female Sexual Problems, by Catherine Kalamis, Self-Help Direct Publishing, 2003.
NHS Direct: Health A-Z Vaginismus, accessed 27th June 2008.
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