Vaginismus is a condition in which the vaginal muscles tighten involuntarily and go into spasm when a woman is touched on her genitals, attempts to have penetrative sex or tries to use a tampon. It can be painful and distressing, as she may want to have sex and otherwise enjoys being physical with her partner. It can feel like she is not in control of her own body and she may feel embarrassed or ‘shut down’ sexually, avoiding intimate relationships as a result. However, she is not alone; vaginismus is a common problem, for women in their late teens onwards.
There are two types of vaginismus: -
- Primary – when a woman has never had penetrative sex
- Secondary – sex may be okay with one partner but not another, or it can occur at different stages of a relationship
Symptoms
- An involuntary muscle spasm in the vagina when a woman attempts to have sex
- Pain during sex or fear of pain
What Causes It?
Physical causes include injury or inflammation of the genital area, vaginal dryness, certain types of medication, and allergy to latex in condoms, a vaginal infection or childbirth. Your GP can advise on the above.
Vaginismus is usually a psychological issue, i.e. a learned response as a result of painful sex, sexual abuse or rape, a traumatic birth experience or if a woman is anxious about getting pregnant or in an abusive relationship. It can also be caused by a lack of awareness about how your body functions sexually.
Sex Therapy
Counselling and sex therapy can help if the cause is psychological. This can be on referral from your GP or through private sessions. Sex therapy aims to educate a woman about her sexual response and offers support and practical help. It can help to reduce anxiety, the feeling that you ‘alone’ have this problem and it can help you feel more in control of your body.
Getting To Know Your Body
One technique sex therapists recommend is using vaginal trainers to help to relax muscle spasms. These are plastic cylinders with a detachable handle and come in four different sizes. Use plenty of lubricant and start with the smallest cone. Once you feel comfortable try the next size up. If you don’t like the idea of trainers have a warm bath and explore your vagina with your fingers instead. A small vibrator against the clitoris will also relax you so that penetration feels pleasurable and sexual. Incorporate the trainers into your relaxation, fantasy and play time and allow yourself plenty of time to play.
Pelvic floor exercises can also help you to feel more in control of your vaginal muscles so that you can relax and tense them accordingly.
To find a qualified sex therapist contact Ipm.org.uk or Basrt.org.uk.
