Stop faking it and start putting the OH back into your Orgasm. Learn what is stopping you and how you can make it to the finishing line.
If your Oh-My-God is more about performance than passion it may be worth working out why you are missing out on the real thing.
What’s stopping you?
Inexperience:Until you learn what buttons to push it will be hard to show someone else your particular pin number. Masturbation is the best way to learn how your body responds and which bits deserve special attention. Been there, done that, got the smile to prove it.
Anger: Women find it difficult to unwrap the emotion part from the sex part. So if you are battling some underlying anger (he was home late, left the wet towels on the floor again, or admitted that maybe, yes, your bum did look big in that) it’s going to be very hard for your body to ignore it. Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, reminds us that ‘Anger can certainly lead to intense sex but, in healthy relationships, your satisfaction in bed comes from love not anger.’
Guilt:This is a big one for some of you. How can you be the ‘good girl’ when you are getting down and dirty? Sharyn Wolf, author of How to Stay Lovers for Life, recommends ‘cognitive therapy’ in which old thinking is replaced with new thinking. When you get that internal voice telling you ‘Nice girl’s don’t’ tell yourself ‘Part of being a healthy adult is having healthy orgasmic sex.’
Poor Body Image:Worrying about the way your tummy looks or the size of your thighs is only going to get in the way. Why not try a little self acceptance and take comfort in the fact that he is unlikely to see what you see-he’s having way too much fun. Failing that you can try that tried and tested option-lights off.
Things to try:
Honesty:Although it can seem a bit scary to give direction in bed it is the best way to ensure you are satisfied. By faking it you are only ‘training’ him to give you more of the same. Any advice in bed can be deemed critical so stick to the positive-‘I love it when you...’ and avoid anything that starts with ‘I hate it when you...’. The naked male ego is a delicate thing.
Pressure Off:An orgasm is a great way to end a session between the sheets but it is not a given. Lots of women don’t orgasm every time and only a few can by intercourse alone. So don’t make it such a big deal-because there is nothing less likely to douse the flames than expectation or pressure. Sex is meant to be fun
Foreplay:It takes a little while for us ladies to get our engines started, so encourage as much foreplay as possible. You can assist by thinking about sex during the day and get yourself in the mood before you even get into the bedroom.-
Positions most likely
*Woman on top-This way you get to control the action and find the best way to move your bodies together.
*From Behind-This is good for deep penetration with the added bonus that you or he can play with your clitoris at the same time.
*Missionary with a twist-Ladies on their back but put your legs over your partners shoulders to help stimulate the clitoris.
Although faking it can be ill advised, there are times when it we are too tired or not in the mood and a little ‘Yes, Yes, Yes, Ohhhh YES!YES!YES!’ can bring things to a swift conclusion. If you still feel guilty remember we don’t have the monopoly on deception-men fake it too (yes, really).
